Everyone finds themselves at some point in their life stuck in the mud, unable to move forward or backwards….just STUCK! Trapped by the inability to move or make a decision, and even when you think you have finally made a decision…it doesn’t really matter because you can’t move either way.
Have you ever wanted to really put your heart and soul into something so much that you could feel the passion swelling up inside ready to explode, but couldn’t? Or have you found yourself filled with so much anger, hurt, and pain that there was no room for passion or dreams and you just wanted to disappear into nothingness where no one could ever hurt you again? I have……and I know so many brave women who have been exactly where I was who are still feeling stuck unable to let go of all the mud and yuck surrounding them. For those amazingly brave, creative, inspiring broken souls….this is the answer.
Most people have this backwards, they feel they need to forgive others for everything they did wrong that had a direct impact on their life – blame is natural state, many of us learned at and early age that when we got into trouble or when we decided to take on responsibility for something that didn’t go right blaming something or someone took the focus and accountability off us.
It’s extremely difficult to look in the mirror and know that you are exactly who you are today and where you are today because of YOU and YOUR decisions. I’m not saying that if someone hurt you or affected your life in a negative way that it was your fault..remember we are not blaming. What I am saying is that somewhere along the road your energies were aligned and you allowed this person into your life and gave him/her the power to influence your decisions. I did this for many years. I suffered terribly from the deepest part of my soul and gave my power away in many different situations. I had become so weak that I didn’t have the strength to fight for my power… I was not just stuck I was completely LOST.
It has been a long road with many bumps along the way but I can finally say that I’m able to dream again, explore life and adventures, be happy and excited about goals and BIG wild DREAMS. How did I keep from drowning completely and becoming one with my self imposed mud pit?
I FORGAVE MYSELF!
I offered forgiveness not to others, but to myself. I was after all the one that allowed negative energy into my life and let it reside for several years. No matter how hard you try…YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER THE DECISIONS OR ACTIONS OF OTHERS, so the only thing you can do is let the pain go and FORGIVE FROM WITHIN.
During my years of “hell” I tried to forgive others and felt like I’d come a long way in that department, but I was still stuck….what was I doing wrong? Why couldn’t I get out of my head and back into my heart? It wasn’t until I started to really FEEL those questions deep within my soul that the answer came. I hadn’t forgiven the most important person of all – ME!!!
It was time…time to heal…time to let go…time to move on…time to fly.
- I forgave myself for not being strong enough to leave the negative environment earlier.
- I forgave myself for not being an engaged mom during the time my kids needed one.
- I forgave myself for not giving my kids time to heal.
- I forgave myself for giving up my power.
- I forgave myself for feeling helpless and hopeless.
- I forgave myself for allowing outside circumstances and people to dictate my self worth.
- I forgave myself for not seeing my true value and gifts.
- I forgave myself for a lot of bad decisions.
- I forgave myself for not hearing my screaming heart.
- I forgave myself for not trusting my inner wisdom to know better.
- I forgave myself for hating the person I had become.
- I forgave myself for being so weak.
- I forgave myself for not being who I was meant to be.
- I forgave myself for not nurturing my spirit.
- I forgave myself for comparing myself with others.
- I forgave myself for giving up on everything I loved about myself.
- I forgave myself for letting go of what made me “me.”
I forgave myself….I forgave myself…I forgave myself…..then I gave myself a BIG HUG and said ” you are valued, you are enough, you are not damaged, you are not broken, and I love you just the way you are!”
I am so grateful for those times of trial – I truly believe that I learned the most profound lesson the universe has to offer FORGIVENESS OF SELF.
When we know better…we do better….thanks to my experiences….now I know better!
Don’t waste another day – forgive yourself and live your amazing life!
All My Love….Wendy Ann